Eigentlich sollte der "special advisor" der NPC Details über eine Studie (Global Oil and Gas Study), die im Oktober 2005 vom amerikanische Energieminister Samuel W. Bodmann anden Chef von ExxonMobil Lee Raymond, zugleich Vorsitzender des National Petroleum Council (NPC) in Auftrag gegeben wurde, berichten. Die Studie soll die amerikanische Regierung mit Empfehlungen versorgen für die langfristige Ausrichtung ihrer Energiepolitik bis zum Jahr 2025. Wegen Spekulationen über "wichtige politische Bekanntmachungen" durchsickerten, war das Fachpublikum sehr gespannt auf die Äußerungen von Shepard Wolff, dem NPC-Vertreter, und Florian Osenberg von Exxon. Was die Konferenzteilnehmer jedoch nicht wussten, Shepard Wolff war in Wahrheit Andy Bichlbaum von der "The Yes Men", und was sie hörten kann man sehr wohl als "wichtige politische Bekanntmachung" bezeichnen - auch wenn sich die meisten darunter wohl etwas anderes vorgestellt hatten:

In the actual speech, the "NPC rep" announced that current U.S. and Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive exploitation of Alberta's oil sands, and the development of liquid coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of people who die into oil.

"We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant," said "NPC rep" "Shepard Wolff" (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men), before describing the technology used to render human flesh into a new Exxon oil product called Vivoleum. 3-D animations of the process brought it to life.

"Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of fossil fuel production," noted "Exxon rep" "Florian Osenberg" (Yes Man Mike Bonanno). "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will continue to flow for those of us left."

The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit "commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles after his death, and all became crystal-clear. (Auszug aus dem Presseverlautbarung der Yes Man Gruppe auf Daily Kos)

Anschliessend schritt Simon Mellor, Commercial & Business Development Director von Exxon ein, und drängte "The Yes Men" von der Bühne. Bichlbaum wurde anschliessend von Journalisten umlagert, denen er erklärte:

"We've got to get ready. After all, fossil fuel development like that of my company is increasing the chances of catastrophic climate change, which could lead to massive calamities, causing migration and conflicts that would likely disable the pipelines and oil wells. Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us."

"We're not talking about killing anyone," added the "NPC rep." "We're talking about using them after nature has done the hard work. After all, 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects every year. That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it all go to waste? That would be cruel." (Auszug aus dem Presseverlautbarung der Yes Man Gruppe auf Daily Kos)

Mittschnitt von der Präsentation:

...und hier das Tribute Video, aus dem die Kerzen hergestellt wurde:

Weiterführende Informationen
Q&A With the Yes Men's Andy Bichlbaum